The Key Factor to Polyamory Relationship Success
In talking about polyamory relationship success, I do take as a given that you’re a rational grown-up. Relationships are for grown-ups. If you’re not a grown-up, fix that, first. Own your own shit,...
View ArticleAre Polyamorous Relationships Hard?
There’s a common thread that I’m noticing in relationship talk that I’d like to address. It’s not necessarily polyamory specific, but I’ve never let it stop me before, so here we go: “Relationships...
View ArticleSecondary Relationships Follow-up: They Ain’t All Bad
Yesterday, I posted a tongue-in-cheek collaboration between a couple of snarky, but very wise men who were expressing concerns about how secondaries are often treated. Is it funny? Yes. Will it make...
View ArticleWill a Baby Change my Poly Relationship?
Okay, go read the title. Then think a minute. Damn right one of your partners having a baby is going to change things. Jesus, where’s your brain? Reams of paper go out with printed whinging about...
View ArticleTrying to Break Us Up
What to do when a secondary female is trying get the primary male to breakup with the primary female in a polyamorous relationship? This was not an Ask the Misanthrope Question, but a search term that...
View ArticleOvercoming Insecurities
How about some suggestions on working with your partner to overcome insecurities? Interesting question: and one that could be taken two ways. I’ll deal with the shortest first. If we interpret it as,...
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Unfuck Your Habitat
While certainly housekeeping is not poly-specific, the attitudes around housework and housekeeping can contribute to a happy poly household or rip it apart. May I present an option that might be of use...
View ArticleHow to Rebuild Trust
I stumbled across your blog while searching for resources on polyamory and STDs. Another question that someone asked was like what happened to me and encouraged me to talk to someone. My wife and I...
View ArticleJack and Jill
About a year ago I met a man whom I had an immediate connection with (I still to this day cannot explain what made me feel so comfortable with him right off the bat as I am generally a reserved woman...
View ArticleNot at All Costs: there are times when you can keep working on the relationship
I’ve posted a series of columns lately where there is a gentle (or not so gentle) encouragement to get the hell out of a relationship. I bet you think this means that if there’s the slightest problem,...
View ArticleThoughts on Being Used
Some years ago, I wrote an article called “Being Used.” It was about red flags in relationships, demands and whether or not you had a relationship or were being treated as a commodity. I feel like I...
View ArticleA Poly Holiday
Poly writers often get asked for happy poly stories. Here’s one: The Prince and I have had a tradition of throwing a party to decorate the Christmas Tree. We instituted it in a small way when our son...
View ArticleTrust and Self-Control
I am in a non-monogamous relationship with my partner of about 18 months. We are both inexperienced in that we have both only ever had monogamous relationships before and have only been open for about...
View ArticleThe Non-romantic Litmus Test
There was a discussion on a poly list I’m a member of recently in which a person had some issues with communication and the expectations surrounding it. Through talking things out on this list, the...
View ArticleThe Commitment of Sharing a Calendar in Polyamory
I was recently asked how much of a commitment was it when a partner asked to share Google Calendars. They’d only been dating a few months, and the partner had said that they wanted to take the...
View ArticleCloseted and Grief
I got a letter recently from a person in a polyamorous relationship who had lost a partner. Due to financial considerations, the relationship was closeted. This is probably one of the biggest reasons I...
View ArticlePolyamory Can’t Come from Cheating
I’ve been getting several letters that looks like this lately: Dear Polyamorous Misanthrope, My husband has had an affair and now wants to have a polyamorous relationship. She is pregnant, and wants...
View ArticleThree Sure-Fire Ways to Build Trust in Polyamorous Relationships
I’ve read a few comments from some people going polyamorous lately — specifically people whose partners are starting new relationships, and I am noticing a trend that is so very easily fixable that I...
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I Didn’t Mean It!
I have screwed up in one of my relationships. I said (well wrote) something idiotic and have destroyed someone’s enjoyment of a reasonably harmless pleasure. The Prince used to like diet Dr. Pepper. I...
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